Realistic Boundaries

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Welcome back to the confident money podcast.

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So with this little mini season that we're doing, we are going to be talking about

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things that have impacted me personally.

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And I think impact a lot of us today.

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We're going to be talking about boundaries, both in your business,

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as well as in the corporate world, because, and technically a little

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bit in your personal life as well.

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Right?

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Boundaries are something that can be, I think really

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difficult for a lot of us too.

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And enforce, but I think our, one of the most powerful things that

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we can do for our overall wellness.

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And so I want to talk about the experience that I've had with setting boundaries and

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some things that I've noticed and with setting boundaries, it can be difficult.

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I'm not here to tell you that setting boundaries and sticking to them

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is the easiest thing in the world.

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And you're going to just do them and go through.

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If you're anything like me, you might end up setting kind of

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going too far one way, right.

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And setting some boundaries that aren't sustainable for you, or aren't enforceable

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for you, or might not be realistic because you may have gone so long, not

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setting boundaries and people pleasing and catering to those around you and

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ignoring how you feel about things that when you finally snap or you finally

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make that decision, or you finally hit that breaking point and you set

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boundaries, they might just be unreal.

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But we're going to talk about setting realistic boundaries and

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the fact that it's okay to change boundaries and to sort of flux with

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the season that you may experience.

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So with setting boundaries, we're going to talk about in your business first

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and some of these work for business for personal and for your career.

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And some of these are kind of more specific.

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And for me, I started setting boundaries in my personal life before I started

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setting boundaries in other places.

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And it has taken me kind of the last 15 years, which is insane.

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But the last 15 years to get to a point where I'm setting firm boundaries

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regularly and boundaries that feel good.

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I feel like I've hit a balanced area in many aspects of my life.

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And that includes setting boundaries, listening to my body, understanding what I

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need more of as a person, what I need less of and recognizing and acknowledging that.

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So for me, setting personal boundaries started out looking

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like saying no to things, uh, saying, you know, I'm an introvert.

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And especially when I was working a lot, when I was in college and I

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was working three jobs and going to school full-time and I had moved out.

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There are a lot of invitations to go do things and finding the courage

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at the time to say no was something that was really beneficial for me,

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setting boundaries with family.

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Hey, I'm going to see you X number of times per month or X number of

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times per year and sticking to it.

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And if someone has a problem with it, or a friend has a problem

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with it, it was my choice.

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Whether I wanted to elaborate on that.

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No, or the, this is what I'm willing to do.

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And sometimes I didn't, sometimes it was, Hey, you know, I'm feeling really

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burnt out in this season of my life.

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I, you know, I would love to go take a walk with you together versus

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going to a party or going to go do something that was draining for me.

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So incorporating seeing friends or seeing family into doing something that was

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nourishing for myself, you know, getting a meal, taking a walk, running errands.

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I think I remember hanging out with my sister off and on throughout

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college and my early teens.

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And I was really busy, but I wanted to see her.

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So what that looked like was picking her up and taking her to go do

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things with me and boring things.

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But we got to spend time together and it felt good for where I was in my season

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of life to still do things that were important to me, what that looks like now

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in my business has been setting boundaries with clients, setting boundaries, with

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team members and setting boundaries with myself for when I'm going to log

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off for when I'm going to step away.

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Setting boundaries boundaries with clients started by, Hey, I'm

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going to work X, Y and Z days.

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You can expect a response from me within this timeframe.

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So setting clear expectations and sticking to those and letting them know, Hey,

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during tax season, you may hear from.

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On weird days on weird times that does not mean that the expectation is in set, that

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I work every Saturday because I replied to you one Saturday during tax season.

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And that means sometimes pushing back if a client reaches out to me or reach

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out to me on a weekend, and maybe they reached back out to me the next day, let's

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say they reached out to me on a Friday night and they reached back out Saturday

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or Sunday to ask why I hadn't replied.

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It's saying on Monday or Tuesday when I'm working again.

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Hey, so-and-so thank you so much for messaging me as a reminder, here are my

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working hours and my standard turn time.

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And it's also, if someone continues to push those boundaries after being

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educated on them, it means that they're no longer an aligned client and it means

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it's time to let them go because what they're looking for, isn't matching

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up with what my boundaries are and my work is, and I didn't leave corporate.

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To have someone else dictate my work hours.

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And if you've left corporate, or if you're looking to leave corporate,

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I'm assuming that that's probably part of the reason as well.

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And that's not to say that my hours and my workflow has not changed over the years.

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I actually noticed I'm going to do a separate episode on this, but I

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have a seasonality to my schedule, to my business, to my life, both

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personally, professionally and.

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Figuring that out, acknowledging it and honoring it has made

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a really big difference.

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And so there are some constants throughout the year for client communication

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for team communication, but there are also some things that are influx

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throughout the year and that change.

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And so I am all about communicating those changes to clients, to the team,

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to my friends, even when those occur and being okay with those happening.

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And I think for a lot of us, at least for me, that's something

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that we can really struggle with.

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Right?

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You go and you set a boundary and you get into a routine, and then you

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realize in six months, maybe that doesn't work for you that way anymore.

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And then again, if you're anything like me, you might get into your

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head, you might spiral a little bit like, oh God, why did I set this?

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It was unsustainable.

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Like, what are people gonna think if I, you know, change

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this boundary that I've seen.

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And honestly, no one gives a fuck.

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You're the one gentleman that cares so much more.

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So it's okay to have those changes.

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As long as you are clearly communicating changes and expectations.

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And again, we're going to talk about this in the next episode, when I

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talk about seasonality and working with that and how my work changes

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throughout the year and how our team changes throughout the year and how.

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Work within that, but setting boundaries and acknowledging that how you work

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within those or what those look like can change from quarter to quarter or

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year to year, or as you build a team.

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Like for me, as I've been building a team this last couple of years,

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my boundaries are getting from.

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And more stringent as I'm stepping back out of the day-to-day, you know, there

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are clients that maybe they were used to me being their primary point of contact.

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I'm no longer their primary point of contact.

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You know, the services that we offer have changed.

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We've updated them on that, but sometimes old habits are hard to break.

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And so it's been a matter of updating them, you know?

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Hey, so-and-so, here's a quick reminder.

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Make sure you drop this in the group.

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And nudging them, you know, into that direction, because change can

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be hard for people, especially when you know, habits have been formed.

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I'm working with some people that I've been working with

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for four or five years now.

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And thank you.

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All of you that are listening, it's so appreciated and seeing everyone's

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businesses grow and thrive and evolve has been one of my greatest pleasures.

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I think actually in this business, seeing, seeing how things have

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evolved is really exciting to me, but.

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There's also been changes to how I operate within my business, how I show up how

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the team shows up, how our clients are served, what their options look like,

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what our packages are that we offer.

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So acknowledging that as we have those changes, and again, clearly

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communicating what those changes are, how they impact the client,

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what they can expect from that.

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And any changes that they need to be aware of goes such a long ways in helping.

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Clients understand our boundaries, because then we have those boundaries

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that we then enforce what those changes have been now boundaries within my team

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and how I interface with them can be clearly communicated as you know, Hey,

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I'm going to be out of office these days.

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You will not be able to reach me.

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I trust all of you.

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I hire people that are autonomous, intelligent, compassionate.

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You've got this handle.

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It I'll be back if there's anything that is truly urgent, which normally

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there isn't, cause I'm not at this point taking vacation or taking time out when,

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you know, there's a big tax deadline or something coming up, but we're getting to

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the point where I will be able to do that.

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And there's someone else in charge, someone else that can take over

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those questions and then taking my apps off my phone, taking my email

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off my phone, clearly communicating.

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This is a big one for me.

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I don't want to be texted by my team unless it is something urgent

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and time sensitive and it had better be urgent or time sensitive.

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Otherwise we have other methods of communication.

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Texting for me is for friends and family work stays in apps, boxers, email, slack.

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And that's really important for me in order for me to be able to log off at

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the end of the day, for me to be able to step away for me to be able to have

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a brain break, because for anyone else, that's a business owner it's nonstop.

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It can be overwhelming.

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It can be exhausting.

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It can cause burnout and being able to step away and have firm boundaries

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that you are not going to be available.

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You are not going to answer and telling your clients the same thing.

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You're not going to answer.

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Here's what you need to do.

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If something's time sensitive, otherwise you'll be replied to in this timeframe

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goes such a long ways to help them.

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Your mental health, your creativity, and allowing you to enjoy this

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business that you've built or building.

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Because again, I didn't get into business to never take a vacation and

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boundaries that's changed for me over the years is I used to travel and work.

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I have spent months out of the country working a day job running my business.

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You know, I'd work a six to eight hour day in your.

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In the afternoon and evening, like let's say I'd work from 4:00 PM to about 11

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give or take and go out and get dinner.

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And I do all my sightseeing in the morning and that was fine.

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That's not the season of life that I'm in anymore.

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There are times where I'll take vacation and I'll have a couple of days where

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like, Hey, I'm going to be plugged in.

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I am happy to respond to X, Y, Z while I'm out.

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Otherwise I'm out.

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That is something that has changed for me in the season of life that I'm in,

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because I crave to be able to discuss.

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And that's also when I find myself most creatively inspired and I come

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back rejuvenated, excited, ready to lead, ready to create, ready

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to do all of these amazing things.

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And I don't get that if I'm constantly working and I'm constantly in my business

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and I'm constantly getting notifications.

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Another boundary that I set is I only take phone calls on certain days.

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Phone calls are really, really draining for.

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So I take them on Tuesdays, actually do them.

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I've even taken it further.

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I now take calls every other Tuesday during a five-hour window.

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That's it.

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I have my Calendly set up that way.

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And if I'm taking existing client calls or paid client calls, that's it.

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If someone comes in and for some reason, you know, that doesn't work,

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of course I will make an accommodation, but that is very, very rare.

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And I only have a set number of calls because it takes

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me out of my creative zone.

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I find it much more difficult to get back into the swing of things.

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And so, you know, many people will time block.

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I block my days, Mondays and Fridays.

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And again, we'll talk about this a lot in the next episodes.

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I'm going to barely touch on this, but Mondays and Fridays are normally off days.

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I use those for recording podcasts.

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I use those for onboarding new team members that need to interface with me.

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I use those to go lay outside in the sunshine or go to

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the garden or run errands.

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Every other Tuesday is a call day or Workday.

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Wednesdays are normally a Workday and my personal coaching days

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where I get coaching and I do nourishing things within my business.

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And then most Thursdays are a Workday or an air.

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And that's what the schedule looks like during the week.

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And then sometimes I'll work a Saturday or a Sunday.

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Let's say maybe I'm going to be gone or maybe the weather's really crappy.

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And there's going to be a great day on Wednesday that week I'll switch

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also to my days out like that.

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That's okay.

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But also schedule my emails to go out at a different time.

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I'll still schedule my emails throughout during the week or my

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communications to go out during the week.

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And.

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Reiterating those boundaries with my clients and with my team

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allows me a to ask for support if I need it and B to encourage

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them to set their own boundaries.

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Because again, there's a seasonality to the work that we do, right.

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There's a busy season, December, January through April, really busy the rest

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of the year with a few kind of speed.

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Is more even keel.

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And I think it's really important that our team be taking weekends off.

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They be taking, you know, the days off that they have committed to taking off

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because it's really easy in the day and age where we all work from home

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on our team and we all work remotely.

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You get an I've caught myself doing this.

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You might get bored or you don't really have anything to go do.

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And you find yourself categorizing accounting transactions and zero or

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replying to Voxer or getting into emails.

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And that's not how I want my team to be living.

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That's not the business that I want to be building.

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That's not the life that I want to be living.

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I love what I do.

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I love what my business does.

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I love the services and the knowledge that we provide for our client.

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That does not mean that we don't all have things that drive us outside of work.

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And so by having those boundaries, it allows us to more fully make time

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for the things outside of work that nourish us, that light us up and

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that make us excited to be here.

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And that make us joyful individuals and setting those boundaries, tweaking those

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boundaries and enforcing those boundaries.

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R one of the most important things that you can do for yourself and

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then assessing them, are these boundaries still serving me?

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Are these feeling good?

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Are these feeling aligned?

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Does something need to change?

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Does this personal boundary that I've set?

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maybe In the evenings, I want to spend time, you know, disconnected with family

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or at night, this is actually one of my.

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My phone, doesn't go into the bedroom with me.

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My phone gets plugged in in the kitchen and I put, do not disturb on and I get

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to it the next morning when I get to it the next morning, that's something that

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I really enjoy for being able to unplug, being able to step away, being able to

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take care of myself and my well-being.

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And I have noticed that I am a significantly happier, healthier.

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Individual and I can't encourage all of you enough to set boundaries and setting

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boundaries and corporate can be, I think really challenging setting boundaries may

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mean changing jobs, which can be scary.

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Setting boundaries may look like not answering emails on the weekend.

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It may look like setting a precedent when you're off on vacation.

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You are not accessible.

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You are off on vacation.

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And if the company can't cover you all while you're

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gone, that's not your problem.

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That is their problem.

Katelyn Magnuson: 00:17:11

Again, that may mean you need to leave, or you need to look for somewhere else.

Katelyn Magnuson: 00:17:17

But if a company is not willing or able to.

Katelyn Magnuson: 00:17:24

Honor your boundaries.

Katelyn Magnuson: 00:17:26

Then it's not a company that you should be working at long-term anyways, if they

Katelyn Magnuson: 00:17:30

don't respect that you need to be rested, that you need to be able to sleep, that

Katelyn Magnuson: 00:17:35

you need to be able to have fun, that you need to be able to have a life outside of

Katelyn Magnuson: 00:17:38

work that you need to go to leave for the day, whether that's leaving your desk.

Katelyn Magnuson: 00:17:42

Cause you work from home, whether that's leaving your office and you

Katelyn Magnuson: 00:17:46

need to be able to leave and be done, you need to be able to set

Katelyn Magnuson: 00:17:49

boundaries around your working with.

Katelyn Magnuson: 00:17:51

You need to be able to take a vacation where you're not expected to work

Katelyn Magnuson: 00:17:54

because it's called paid time off, not paid time on call for any questions

Katelyn Magnuson: 00:17:58

that may arise in emails that come through unplug take your vacation time.

Katelyn Magnuson: 00:18:05

Even if it's a staycation, especially if finances are tough, taking time,

Katelyn Magnuson: 00:18:10

not telling anyone where you're going.

Katelyn Magnuson: 00:18:12

Just, Hey, I'm not going to be accessible.

Katelyn Magnuson: 00:18:14

Put your out of office message on your email.

Katelyn Magnuson: 00:18:16

Put your phone on, do not disturb or shut your phone off.

Katelyn Magnuson: 00:18:18

If you can.

Katelyn Magnuson: 00:18:20

And step away if you have paid time to take, and if you don't or if

Katelyn Magnuson: 00:18:25

they're not honoring it or you come back and it's a shit show because

Katelyn Magnuson: 00:18:29

they've been reaching out to you and no one else has filled your position.

Katelyn Magnuson: 00:18:32

And there's all these things for you to do have those difficult conversations

Katelyn Magnuson: 00:18:38

with your employer, with your manager and.

Katelyn Magnuson: 00:18:42

Look to leave, start applying elsewhere, whether that's you going for a job,

Katelyn Magnuson: 00:18:47

whether that's you starting, you know, your own business, becoming

Katelyn Magnuson: 00:18:51

more cognizant of when your boundaries are being disrespected, disregarded

Katelyn Magnuson: 00:19:00

or ignored will allow you to be more aware of when you need to be enforcing

Katelyn Magnuson: 00:19:05

them of the things that matter to you and will allow you to live a life.